


i don't wanna wear this cape

by MyCupOfTea



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Career Changes, Established Relationship, Healthy Communication, M/M, appropriate amounts of fluff, episode coda, mentions of owen/gwyn/pregnancy, no beta we die like tim, s2e06 everybody and their brother, tk and carlos talking about tk becoming a paramedic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29919057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyCupOfTea/pseuds/MyCupOfTea
Summary: Carlos manages to do a passable job of getting invested in the pulpy sci fi his cousin is fond of by the time he hears the door click open downstairs.“Carlos?” he hears TK call out.****After the events in the minefield, TK tells Carlos he's thinking about making a career change.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 15
Kudos: 229





	i don't wanna wear this cape

**Author's Note:**

> My girlfriend got me healthily obsessed with this show, and we've come to the conclusion they're basically us in a first responder AU. 
> 
> So enjoy some healthy communication and supportive partners, because that's what it's all about, baby! 
> 
> I may write some more episode codas, depending. I have a few started, because while I understand that there are other characters other than TK and Carlos, I would happily stream them into my consciousness 24 hours a day, so I'll make the content a TV show doesn't necessarily have the time to include. 
> 
> Title from Hero by Weezer, a TK Strand song if I've ever heard one.

_ TK: I’m going to be over later than I thought, I’m gonna grab a meeting _

Carlos frowns from where he’s lounging on his couch, mindless TV in the background. He’s not surprised TK is going to a meeting after his shift – he’s learned that it doesn’t mean TK is struggling any more than usual with his addiction, knows it helps him clear his head especially when there’s extra stressors in his life, knows it helps keep him from getting to a point where he _ would  _ be struggling.

It’s just that he knows exactly what could be the extra stress TK wants help managing, and his stomach flips unpleasantly.

On the whole, he likes Captain Strand. He seems to be a good captain, he and TK are obviously close, and Carlos has to admit that the night in the hospital when Owen let him sit at TK’s bedside despite no one – least of all TK and Carlos -- really knowing their true relationship status went a long way in forming Carlos’s opinion of the guy, especially considering his own parents.

But nobody’s perfect, and Carlos wouldn’t go so far as to say “familiarity breeds contempt”, but the more he gets to know Owen the more chances he has to see the flaws rather than the sky box view afforded by only seeing someone on the job.

And being able to tell your son that you were only just now taking your health seriously because you had a different kid you needed to be around for isn’t just a flaw – it makes Carlos simmer with a dark, unpleasant feeling.

He’s happy TK is letting his healthy coping mechanisms guide his actions, but Carlos would rather Owen not force TK to need them in the first place.

_ Carlos: I’m glad you’re able to go, see you soon _

He lets out an over dramatic sigh before hoisting himself up to lock up the house and get ready for bed. It’s a little early for him, but he knows TK will want to go straight to bed and he wants to spend those last few drowsy, easy moments before TK falls asleep with him more than he wants to do anything else.

He leaves the light on over the stairs for TK, brushes his teeth, takes his contacts out and replaces them with his glasses, and slides into bed with the latest book his cousin had cast off at him.

Carlos manages to do a passable job of getting invested in the pulpy sci fi his cousin is fond of by the time he hears the door click open downstairs.

“Carlos?” he hears TK call out.

“Bedroom!” he calls back. He hears TK walking heavily up the stairs and despite the chaos of the last few days can’t help but grin at him when he walks in the room. Even exhausted, annoyed, frustrated, he’s still TK, and Carlos still loves him.

“How was work?”

“It was a lot,” TK says, dumping his bag by Carlos’s closet and stripping off his pants.

“And how was your meeting?”

“It was also a lot,” TK says with a sigh, snagging his water bottle out of his bag before walking over to the bed. “But I feel better,” he admits, before leaning over with one hand on the bed on the other side of Carlos and kissing him. He lingers before Carlos decides, to hell with it, and pulls him down. TK squeaks and accidentally knocks Carlos’s glasses sideways with the water bottle in his other hand before rolling over onto his side of the bed.

“Ow,” Carlos complains, rubbing his head. TK laughs and, after setting his water bottle down on the other night stand, straddles Carlos and gently readjusts his glasses before kissing his forehead.

“I’d say I’m sorry, but that was your fault,” TK teases, and Carlos is so relieved to see him smile that he doesn’t care that his temple is throbbing. He grins at TK, helpless to do anything else, and sets his hands on his waist.

“I’m not sorry, this is right where I wanted you.”

TK frowns down at him.

“Yeah, what are you doing in bed so early?”

“It’s not that early,” Carlos protests. “But I knew you’d had a long day. Two days,” he amends, considering that TK started his shift over twenty four hours ago. “I just wanted some time with you.”

TK doesn’t say anything, just pushes their foreheads together and breathes for a moment. When he pulls back, there’s a determined look on his face that makes Carlos sit up a little. 

“I need to talk to you about something,” TK starts. 

“Okay,” Carlos says, trying not to panic, because TK doesn’t look panicked and he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions. “You know you can tell me anything.”

TK’s smile comes back, a little crooked. 

“Yeah. I do know.” He sits back on his haunches and takes a deep breath. “So today, there were these two boys stuck in a minefield --”

“A what?” Carlos asks, incredulous, sitting all the way up. TK winces. 

“Okay, so I need to talk to you about a couple of somethings,” he amends. “I should have started with, I’m fine, obviously, and we had a really safe plan and my dad was in front of me the whole time.”

“You know, I’m not super pleased with your dad right now, and I feel like this story isn’t going to help that.”

“Probably not,” TK mutters. “Anyway. There were two boys stuck in a minefield. Some paranoid idiot thought burying mines all over his property was a great security plan, and blew himself up with two kids stranded in his field. One of the kids got hit with some shrapnel --”

“Wait, wait, I heard about this -- some foolhardy idiots had to go. . . jumping. . . into the minefield. . .” Carlos stares at TK, who at least looks sheepish. “Jesus Christ, TK.”

“Okay, look, I had to do it, you would have done it too, don’t look at me like that,” TK admonishes, flicking him lightly on the forehead. “How did you even find out about it? You didn’t work today.”

“It was on the  _ news _ .”

“Oh. Right. Well, not while I was at the scene.”

“Yeah, I imagine they probably didn’t let news crews in until after there was no chance they would be showing two firefighters and two kids getting blown to pieces in a minefield live on TV.” Carlos shakes his head. 

TK tilts his head up until he meets his eyes. 

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Carlos blows out a long breath. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just going through all the stages of freaking out in two minutes. We’re almost to relief, just hang on.”

TK kisses his forehead. 

“Look, I know it sounds really bad, but Dad had a good plan and it worked. We used a weighted duffle to set off anything in front of us and marked the safe spots. And we saved the kid,” TK says, and a bright spark comes back to his eyes. 

Carlos takes another steadying breath, and makes himself relax. 

“Okay, I’m good. I might have nightmares about it, but I’ll deal with that later.” He shakes his head. “What else did you want to talk about?”

“I did not particularly  _ want _ to talk about the minefield, but I was getting there. So, we needed to get to him faster than bomb squad could get to  _ us _ , so the original plan was Dad and the medic guy would go in, Dad first. But the dude chickened out.”

“I can’t  _ totally _ blame him?”

“I can. We needed him and he let us down. So, Tommy said she’d go, but --”

“Both captains, not a good idea.”

“Right. And Nancy’s still out. And the kid needed blood, and I’m the only one of the rest of us still qualified above EMT.”

“Wait, but I thought Paul and Marjan --”

TK shakes his head. “Both had their paramedic certs lapse. They’re going to renew them once things calm down with COVID, but for now they just have regular EMT certs.”

“But yours is still good.”

“Recertified right before I went back to work after I was out on medical leave.”

“Lucky.”

TK snorts. “Something like that. Anyways, so we get in there and the kid, he was in really bad shape Carlos, had a slice in the femoral artery, it was all kinds of ugly --”

“And you saved him.”

TK laughs a little. “I did. And it felt really good.” He sobers for a second. “It was the best day I’ve had at work in a long time.”

“Well, good. You deserve a good day.”

“But.” TK sighs. “Okay, so. Work has kind of sucked. For a while.”

Carlos rubs his hands up and down TK’s back. “I know. There’s been a lot going on, with Tim and then San Angelo, and then your dad. Your mom.”

“Yeah, and it’s. It’s just been hard, and I love my job, but --”

“But lately you haven’t been loving your job.”

“Yeah.” TK rolls his shoulders and looks up at the ceiling for a brief moment. “So new medic guy quit.”

“Yeah?” Carlos prompts gently, knowing they’re getting to the heart of all of this. 

“Yeah. And.” TK stops and Carlos doesn’t push, gives him a minute. “And I’m thinking of applying.”

Carlos takes a moment to consider. 

“I can see that.”

TK bites his lip and looks down at him. “You can?”

“Yeah, I can. I’ve seen you at work, it’s not a hard jump to make.”

TK tilts his head and cringes a little. “Well, it might not  _ seem _ like it, but --”

“Hey, hey, no, that’s not what I meant. I just mean that you’re really good with victims at a scene, and yeah, I can see you doing that more. All the time. You’d be really great.” Carlos hesitates, though, when something pops into his head. “Okay, so, please don’t be mad or take this the wrong way. But. . . this isn’t  _ just _ because of your dad, right?”

TK immediately bristles and Carlos tugs him closer before he can scramble away. 

“No, no, hang on. I meant it when I said you’d be really good. And I know you meant it when you said you really liked being the one to treat the kid today. I just want to make sure your dad isn’t chasing you out of a job you really love.”

TK sighs. “It’s not  _ not _ my dad, you know? But not in the way I think you’re thinking it is. Back in New York, the fire department is set up different. Actually, lots of places are set up differently than here. Austin is weird.”

“You love it, don’t even try to distract me with that.”

“I do, but. Anyway, medical and fire are way more integrated other places, so more of us pulled double duty all the time. But when we came here, it’s more defined, so when I had to choose --”

“You chose fire.”

“I made the choice without realizing it was a choice in the first place. Because, you know, my dad. Also I was not exactly up for making any big life decisions at the time. There was already so much change happening, and I didn’t even consider changing anything else.”

Carlos resumes stroking up and down TK’s back. 

“You’ve come a long way from where you were when you first got to Austin,” he comments quietly. 

“Yeah. I think I have. And I didn’t realize that going from being dual function fire and medic to just fire was going to be a change too.” TK goes quiet, and then groans and rolls his eyes. “Also, it  _ would _ be nice to not have my dad be my immediate supervisor anymore.”

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “Gosh. Can’t imagine why.”

“But -- but -- I don’t want to screw things up with the crew, and Tommy is -- I mean, she’s awesome but also in kind of a scary way? And --”

“Babe, if you want to be talked out of this, you’re going to have to talk to someone else.”

TK rolls off of him, but stays close with his head on Carlos’s shoulder and an arm over his chest. Carlos rolls his eyes. 

“Just get under the blankets. I know you’re exhausted. We can talk about it more in the morning, but I think it’s something you should seriously consider. But let’s seriously consider it in the morning.”

“Unreasonable,” TK grumbles, even as he’s pushing his way under the covers. “Bossy.”

“Mm, love you too, babe.”

* * *

Carlos hasn’t had a whole day to spend with TK since Owen and Gwyn told him about the baby, so he carefully maneuvered them out of hosting the 126 and any other social obligations for a stress free day at his place. 

Which has turned into resume workshopping. 

“I just worked on this not that long ago,” TK complains, copying and pasting yet another line that throws off the spacing. “How is it so out of date already?”

“You were applying for an entirely different job?” Carlos suggests, setting down a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. “You’ve been in Austin just over a year and have already dealt with more natural disasters than you had to deal with your entire career in New York?”

“Might have something to do with it,” TK says, sighing. “We don’t really get tornadoes in New York. A warning every now and then, but usually nothing comes of it. Don’t really get volcanoes either.”

“To be fair, neither did Texas, before now.”

“Ugh.”

“Here, pass it over, let me look at it.”

Reluctantly, TK passes over his laptop. Carlos narrows his eyes at him. 

“Are you. . . embarrassed?”

“No! Well. Maybe a little bit? I don’t know. I’ve never applied for a job that wasn’t being a firefighter. And -- I mean you know me from work, but we’ve been together in some way for most of that time.”

Carlos raises his eyebrows. “Yes, and I remember you bragging about saving someone on the side of the Chrysler building on our first date.”

TK sighs. “Yeah, that’s on there. Got a commendation of valor for that one.”

Carlos continues to squint at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you humble before, this is weird.”

TK shoves at him with his shoulder on the couch and Carlos traps him against his shoulder with one arm before he can move away, and uses his other hand to scroll through the resume. 

“Wait, wait, wait, you have a degree?”

TK glances up at him. “Did you not know that?”

“I did  _ not _ , why didn’t I know that? Graduated in 2014?”

“Yeah, while I was waiting to be able to join the fire academy. Takes a couple years, in New York. You can’t even get appointed until you’re 21. I took some classes online when I was in rehab, right after high school, finished up my associate’s right before I started at the academy.” 

Carlos hums, kissing the top of TK’s head. “Public health.”

“Mmhm.”

“An interesting choice for a future firefighter.”

“I don’t know why it would be,” TK says, leaning further into him, turning his face into his shoulder so his voice is a little muffled. “Fire departments are an important part of public health infrastructure.”

“But not exactly the first connection most people make.”

“You’re one to talk, Mr. Cop Who Majored In Sociology.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” It’s quiet as Carlos reaches the end of the resume, before scrolling to the top and zooming out to see if he can see a better way to arrange things so they actually fit. He changes a few font sizes and rearranges a few lines before glancing down at TK, who had gone surprisingly still. “Are you falling asleep? You did get up kind of early for someone who worked a 24 yesterday. Nap?”

“No. Well, I mean, I probably  _ could _ , but I want a chance of sleeping tonight. But. No. I’m just thinking.”

Carlos deliberately puts the laptop aside. “About?”

TK reaches out to grab a handful of popcorn, and Carlos knows he’s stalling. But he gives him the chance to collect his thoughts.

“It feels weird. How bad I want this.”

“Weird because you want to be a paramedic, or weird because you don’t want to be a firefighter?”

“Ugh.” TK slides down to lay down on the couch on his back, head pillowed on Carlos’s thigh. “Both. And it just feels sudden.”

“It doesn’t feel sudden to me.”

“Really?”

“TK, I think you’ve been having an identity crisis the entire time I’ve known you. I love you, but it’s pretty clear that there’s some things about your life that you’ve accepted as your fate that you would like to change.”

TK stays quiet for a long moment and Carlos thinks he’s fucked up. He doesn’t think he’s wrong, because he likes to think he knows TK fairly well by now, but that doesn’t mean stating it outright was something TK is ready to hear. But TK doesn’t pull away when Carlos strokes his hair, letting it slide between his fingers and his fingertips gently fall on his scalp.

“I think that time when I got out of the hospital after I got shot was the closest I’ve come to admitting that to myself,” TK finally says. 

Carlos thinks about TK getting shot more than he likes to admit, the fear that took over him stronger than anything he’d ever realized he harbored inside of himself, the relief of TK waking up and being okay a whole other shock, the disappointment of TK not being able to be in a relationship with him nothing compared to the whole body sensation of getting to know TK at all. And then, looking up at the sky without words to describe any part of any of it, TK’s hand in his, the quiet, the colors. 

Carlos knows now every part of that, the good, the bad, and the indescribable, was just what being in love is like. 

He knows TK has his own version of how that day was life changing, the highs and lows, opening up a part of himself to his team, to his family, to Carlos. 

He did know that this was part of it. That TK has a hard time deciphering what he wants from what he’s expected to want from what feels like freedom simply because it  _ isn’t _ what’s expected of him. 

Carlos can relate. 

“It’s okay to want things, TK. It’s okay to want different things than what you have, even if what you have is good.”

TK huffs. “That’s basically what we talked about yesterday at the meeting.” 

“It did seem like it helped you a lot.”

“They usually do.” TK turns his head to kiss Carlos’s hand. “You do too.”

“Mm, can’t promise I’ll always succeed, but I can promise I’ll always try.”

TK smiles up at him, and Carlos’s heart thumps painfully, wonderfully, hard. 

“Works for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm on tumblr at marchingatmidnight.](https://marchingatmidnight.tumblr.com/)


End file.
